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King of the Blue Planet
by Mike Resnick
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The sole human occupant and proprietor of a fueling-stop planet on the outer rim negotiates terms to become the new galactic Switzerland. (Published: 1988)
Words: 3475 - Reading Time: 9-13 min.
Category: Humor
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92 Reader Ratings:
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2
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How I Wrote the New Testament, Ushered in the Renaissance, and Birdied the 17th Hole at Pebble Beach
by Mike Resnick
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When an itinerant Jewish businessman is commanded (condemned?) by Christ to "tarry here until I return," he spends the next 2000 years trying to keep busy and occasionally helping along the advancement of civilization. (Published: 1990)
Words: 2403 - Reading Time: 6-9 min.
Category: Humor
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333 Reader Ratings:
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3
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Sunday Review
by Bruce Boston
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Juan Luis Obregon was perhaps the greatest Portuguese novelist of the 20th century. If only he hadn't taken a job as a coat tree, there is no telling what masterpieces he might have created. (Published: 1978)
Words: 933 - Reading Time: 2-3 min.
Category: Humor
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24 Reader Ratings:
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4
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Mrs. Vamberry Takes a Trip
by Mike Resnick
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Linguistic miscues and misunderstandings pepper this humorous account of Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson, and a mysterious lady in a raincoat. (Published: 1989)
Words: 3477 - Reading Time: 9-13 min.
Category: Humor
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82 Reader Ratings:
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5
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Stanley, The Eighteen-Percenter
by Mike Resnick
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Stanley Mitterwald is an agent who represents only high-profile clientele because he negotiates the best terms in the industry. When a client of biblical proportions enters his office complaining of hot and dry working conditions, he takes on the toughest negotiating challenge of his career ... making a deal with the Devil. (Published: 1994)
Words: 1705 - Reading Time: 4-6 min.
Category: Humor
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72 Reader Ratings:
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6
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The Cleaning Lady
by Susan Casper
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Mary is a very fastidious cleaning lady. She loves her job. Perhaps a little too much.
Words: 1127 - Reading Time: 3-4 min.
Category: Humor
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135 Reader Ratings:
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7
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A Taste of Damsel
by Thomas Gerencer
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Anyone can slay a dragon. Well, provided they are dragonslayers, which Colson isn't. But even clerks from photocopy shops can have heroic qualities, and even the very, very old can learn new tricks. (Published: 2002)
Words: 2716 - Reading Time: 7-10 min.
Category: Humor
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55 Reader Ratings:
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8
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Attack of the Giant WereHand?
by Joe Murphy
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Attack of the Giant WereHand Shadow Puppet People From a Mysterious Blood Guzzling Planet in Another Dimension Beyond Our Galaxy at the Center of Time: Each year Scavenger's Newsletter runs the Killer Frog Contest for over-the-top horror and science fiction--a sort of Bulwer Lytton for short stories. This story, whose complete title is "Attack of the Giant WereHand Shadow Puppet People from a Mysterious Blood Guzzling Planet in Another Dimension Beyond Our Galaxy at the Center of Time," was 1994... more info>> (Published: 1997)
Words: 1500 - Reading Time: 4-6 min.
Category: Humor
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71 Reader Ratings:
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9
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Captain Asimov
by Steve Antczak
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Jeevs, a domestic robot, always took pride in his work, whether he was cleaning up after the family or reading comic books to the children. Ever since he had that nasty fall, though, Jeevs has been acting decidedly strange... (Published: 1997)
Words: 5500 - Reading Time: 15-22 min.
Category: Humor
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128 Reader Ratings:
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10
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Return to the Planet of the Giant WereHand ?
by Joe Murphy
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[The full name of this eBook is: "A Truly Factual Account of the Return to the Planet of the Giant WereHand Shadow Puppet People Because They Somehow Escaped and Moved It Closer to Earth, Seriously Threatening The Existence of All Mankind By Convoluting Time, Space, and Plot"] Just in case you hadn't figured it out, "A Truly Factual Account of the Return to the Planet of the Giant WereHand Shadow Puppet People Because They Somehow Escaped and Moved It Closer to Earth, Seriously Threatening the E... more info>> (Published: 1995)
Words: 2700 - Reading Time: 7-10 min.
Category: Humor
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29 Reader Ratings:
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11
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Like No Business I Know
by Mark Bourne
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The residents of Faerie have become big fans of Xora: Warrior Priestess, and they have some wonderful ideas for improving the show... (Published: 1998)
Words: 8000 - Reading Time: 22-32 min.
Category: Humor
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36 Reader Ratings:
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12
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Primordial Chili
by Thomas Gerencer
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Have you ever had one of those days when everything just seems to go … right? Even when it's wrong? "Primordial Chili" is a laugh-out-loud thrill-ride of culinary perfection, taken to cosmic proportions. The planets align, the gods speak, and supper turns out pretty good, too. (Published: 1999)
Words: 2513 - Reading Time: 7-10 min.
Category: Humor
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133 Reader Ratings:
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13
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Demo Mode
by Thomas Gerencer
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In the future, schools will be outdated and we'll all have knowledge grafted straight into our heads. Just make sure they configure the innoculotron correctly, or you might wind up contracting Esperanto by mistake! (Published: 2000)
Words: 2616 - Reading Time: 7-10 min.
Category: Humor
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142 Reader Ratings:
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14
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Trailer Trash Savior
by Thomas Gerencer
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So the millennia have passed, and the time of the reckoning is once more nigh ... not to mention that you've got a busted velvet-Elvis and the oil heat isn't working. Find out what happens when the owner of a mullet and a used AMC Gremlin becomes "the chosen one," and has to battle demons, various and sundry. (Published: 1999)
Words: 2185 - Reading Time: 6-8 min.
Category: Humor
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58 Reader Ratings:
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15
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Striker Out
by Bruce Boston
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Steel Striker, interplanetary troubleshooter and space dick, was low on starbucks. But in the 95th century there was always another case to bungle. Another leggy blonde. Another crack or two on the head. (Published: 1995)
Words: 5358 - Reading Time: 15-21 min.
Category: Humor
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50 Reader Ratings:
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16
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Millennium Knights
by Nick Pollotta
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He was a gangsta. A rap star. But his real mission in life was staking out the vampires that stalked his audience... (Published: 2002)
Words: 928 - Reading Time: 2-3 min.
Category: Humor
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336 Reader Ratings:
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17
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Never Trust a Spargan
by Bruce Boston
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The travel brochures with their colorful holographic images had lied by omission. This was no vacation. It was a nightmare in the slums of outer space. And there was little hope of returning on time. (Published: 1992)
Words: 1494 - Reading Time: 4-5 min.
Category: Humor
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61 Reader Ratings:
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18
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Pulp Woman Gets Her Man
by Bruce Boston
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[Strong Adult Content] He had a truck with flames painted up the sides, lots of country music, and a wife that was just plain terrified of him. Then he met Pulp Woman. Oly's days as a redneck-male-chauvinist pig were over. (Published: 1988)
Words: 1135 - Reading Time: 3-4 min.
Category: Humor
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48 Reader Ratings:
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19
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Paratabloids: Poems Inspired by Headlines From the Weekly World News
by Michael Arnzen
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A collection of tragicomic poems, inspired by actual headlines from the Weekly World News. Introduction by Ed Bryant. (Published: 2002) Bram Stoker Award Finalist
Words: 4505 - Reading Time: 12-18 min.
Category: Humor
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8 Reader Ratings:
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20
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Death of a Super Anti-Hero
by Bruce Boston
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Cloakman was more a super anti-hero than a super hero, something of a rogue, a shadowy sort of figure who ended up doing the right thing in spite of himself. Only he had never counted on the chain of command. (Published: 2000)
Words: 1360 - Reading Time: 3-5 min.
Category: Humor
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42 Reader Ratings:
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21
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God Save the Mark
by Donald Westlake
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Fred Fitch is pure of heart and substance but utterly credulous; if there is a scam operating anywhere--his rooming house where the General needs a loan to print his revelation of the secret history of the government, the street where those Little Sisters of the Poor raising funds for the homeless or anywhere in between--Fred finds it or it finds Fred to the same uncertain end. Fred even has his own contact, Reilly, on the Bunco Squad at Headquarters who adds weekly to the enormous file. But Fre... more info>>
Category: Humor
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11 Reader Ratings:
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22
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Why I Bring a Bag Lunch Now
by Thomas Gerencer
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School lunch, weird teachers, horrifying lunchroom employees and all the terror of a hundred-thousand dreams of showing up for class in nothing but your underwear. Marty Ruckerman and chums find out the horrible secrets lurking in the teacher's lounge at Emerpathy Middle School. [Publisher Note: Also available in the anthology switch.blade: School's Out] (Published: 2002)
Words: 5050 - Reading Time: 14-20 min.
Category: Humor
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50 Reader Ratings:
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23
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Mrs. Hood Unloads
by Mike Resnick
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Robin Hood's mother kvetches about her outlaw son during a game of mah jongg. (Published: 1991)
Words: 1078 - Reading Time: 3-4 min.
Category: Humor
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79 Reader Ratings:
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24
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The Kemosabee
by Mike Resnick
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When Tonto explains to the Lone Ranger that Indians are one of the lost Hebrew tribes, the legend of the famed crimefighting duo takes on a whole new dimension. (Published: 1994)
Words: 1456 - Reading Time: 4-5 min.
Category: Humor
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82 Reader Ratings:
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CHECKED OUT
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25
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Why Martians are Attracted to Big-Breasted Women
by Mike Resnick
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Hint: It has something to do with Alabaster. (Published: 2000)
Words: 1611 - Reading Time: 4-6 min.
Category: Humor
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165 Reader Ratings:
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